Temper tantrums

The other day, i was in a horrible mood. i was flustered, frustrated and very cross. It was one of those days where you’re fairly pissed off to start with, and then everything goes wrong, making life even more difficult. i broke my favourite cup (which Sir very kindly replaced), i messed up Sir’s breakfast (not that He would notice or worry about that anyway) and i gradually got more stressed, clumsy and annoyed as the day went on. i was most definitely not in the mood to go to work that evening and begrudgingly stomped out of the house after some stern words from Sir to buck up my ideas.

When i arrived at work, i was informed by the least diplomatic arsehole i work with, that i had the rota wrong and wasn’t due in for another hour, so i stomped home again, threw some stuff around and was in full blown angry temper tantrum mode by the time Sir had a chance to restrain me and calm me down. He cuddled me while i remained tense and refused to go back to work. When He realised that my childish attitude wasn’t lessening, He moved away from me and went back to work, saying that He wasn’t going to give me what i wanted if i insisted on carrying on like this. i broke down into tears and He held me until i quietened, then told me to bend over the bed. He spanked me hard, then penetrated me with His fingers making me come, before climbing on top of me and using me. By the time He had finished, i was due to be late back in work, but was also in deep subspace, which i’m not sure that Sir intended as this rendered me completely useless. He picked me up, made sure i got dressed, came to work with me and took a seat in the corner of the bar in attempt to get on with some work.

An hour or so later, the bar was so quiet that my manager wanted two people to go home. Of course, still feeing spacey, i jumped at the chance to be set free to sit at Sir’s feet, so we got some food, went home and i curled up on the sofa next to Him with my head on His shoulder as my subspace subsided.

Sir wanted me to write a post about this particular time to reflect on how i acted and how He dealt with it. i understand that my mood and attitude was childish and uncalled for, but everyone has had a bad day and i’m sure you all know exactly how it feels to be that little ball of anger, unable to let go. i’m not very good at letting go of anger. Sometimes i get so cross that i think i’ll burst. There are a few things/people who make me so angry, and as much as Sir tells me that i have to let go, i just can’t. i’m not really an angry person, but when i get cross, i find it harder to forget about it or to put it aside. Sir deals with me incredibly well. i am very hard work at times and He manages to fix almost everything. On this particular day, Sir helping me get all of my emotion out and transferring it into a calm, subspace state, was absolutely the best thing He could have done. He couldn’t have left me angry, or tried rational conversation (you can’t rationalise the irrational) or tried mollycoddling me (condoning my actions). He did what He always does and chose to do was best for me, as His sub, which is what makes Him such an amazing Dom.

Advertisements

New year catch up

Before i begin, i want to apologise for my absence. i would spout the usual crap about being busy etc, but the fact is, everyone is busy. Life just gets in the way sometimes, and i’m going to try my very best to keep on top of my blogging from now on.

Quite a lot has happened over the past few months, i got a new job, Sir is settling into His, and we’re both feeling a bit happier with where we’re at in life. We’ve started looking at flats (with a spare room for a ‘dungeon’) to move in together and we are, overall, disgustingly happy.

We have been neglecting our latex production as well as the blog, but we have so many ideas which i’m sure we’ll get round to making soon. We have, however, been making the most of our growing latex wardrobe, especially now that most of it is chlorinated, making it a million times easier to put on and clean. my dress arrived from Berlin and i look very beautiful in it, it is a really special piece and i can’t wait for the opportunity to show it off in public!

Sex is frequent, rough, latex clad and extremely hot (#NotAllowedInUKporn). We are having less time for scenes at the moment, which is a little disappointing, but Sir knows when i need to be treated badly and makes sure i receive all of the pain and domination that i need in our everyday sex life. He is also becoming more dominant in general, stricter rules, more tellings off, He no longer feels bad about pointing out how i could make His food better and He has started to restrict treats to try and improve our eating habits. It makes me feel awful when i disappoint Sir. Its crushing and humiliating when He tells me off, but deep down, i love knowing that He is in charge.

Sir collared me almost a year ago and it feels like we are really beginning to settle into our roles. He protects me and looks after me and i follow His rules and orders. i have learnt that what He asks of me is what is best for us both, and i’m getting better at obeying without arguing. He has grown more confident with making decisions on my behalf and with saying ‘no’ to me even when i’m batting my eyelashes and being cute (ie. a manipulative brat). It is exciting to think that being collared was just the beginning of an exciting adventure that is our ever growing D/s relationship.

Berlin- Sex

Berlin brings out the best in us. We are closer and most in love when we are there. i understand that a big part of that is because it’s a holiday and there are no other distractions, but that isn’t everything. Berlin is my city, it is relaxed, fun and full of culture and history. It’s an industrial city like Manchester and Glasgow, but more liberal and with more edge. Its my favourite place to be and when Sir is there with me, it makes it even better. Our love for this city spills over into the bedroom and we have the most amazing sex. Berlin sex is different from sex at home. It is more carefree, passionate, desperate and raw. i am much more open with Sir about new disgusting things i want to try and feel less worried that He will reject my ideas (n.b. Sir has never rejected my ideas).

i told Sir about my new medical role play fantasies. He told me that He didn’t think i was into that, as i have expressed dislike to the idea previously, but once i’d explained how i’d changed my mind (porn), He got to work sorting out a scene. We bought a speculum and a pump for my nipples/clit and i was getting very excited about my upcoming appointment with the Dr.

He dressed the bed in our PVC sheet and told me to change into more appropriate clothing for the examination (my latex nightie and new latex bloomers) while He wore a black latex t-shirt (slightly un-orthodox for a Dr, but was explained away as being for cleanliness). He lay me on the bed, asking me questions about my general health and then proceeding with the examination. As He was a Dr, i trusted Him completely with the tests He had to run, using the speculum to examine the inside of my cunt, using our Wartenberg wheel to test my nerves and strapping my arms and legs together for my own safety. This was the point that i decided to question Dr’s methods, and this was the time that Dr turned scary. Everything after this point is a blur for me, but the scene turned into a very intense, scary and amazing rape fantasy. Our first. Sir played the part brilliantly. He made me genuinely frightened of Him and i loved every second of it. Once He had finished with me, He told me that i had another appointment in a week. If i didn’t turn up, He would tell my friends and family what a disgusting whore i am (not that i needed more of an incentive!). Our next appointment was back at home. It had to be re-arranged on several occasions, because life gets in the way at home, but it was worth the wait.

Sir and i intend to spend more time exploring rape fantasy. He has made me promise to use my safe words if i’m ever worried or in doubt. New things are exciting and scary, but it will definitely be fun!

Well, that’s all from our Berlin trip. Writing about it can never portray quite how amazing it is for us, but hopefully i’ve given you a glimpse. Daddy Sir and i are making plans to move out there within a year which is very exciting and will most likely lead to many more kinky stories to write about.

Berlin- Shopping

There’s this amazing sex shop in Charlottenburg called Hautnah which specialises in latex clothing. We discovered it last time we were in Berlin, oddly enough, from the Lonely Planet guidebook. We spent so long there on our last visit that we made friends with one of the girls who works there, so arranged to go clubbing and drinking with her and her Dom while we were back. Of course, we had to go and see her at work too, just as an excuse to spend a lot of money on new latex clothes.

They have two dungeons, one with latex dresses, wine and porn and the other with toys, bondage equipment, hoods and men’s latex clothes. Upstairs are shoes and boots and on the main floor there is lingerie, PVC, party wear, and latex womenswear. The whole shop smells of latex and it’s mine and Sir’s idea of heaven; we want to try everything on and buy everything that fits. Sir did make me try on a lot of things, including a latex maid’s outfit which He will be buying for me when we move in together in 6 months (exciting!). i fell madly in love with a black halter neck dress covered in a beautiful leafy pattern that was sort of engraved into the latex. We told our friend how impressed we were with it and it turns out that she created the pattern for the designer! Unfortunately, they didn’t have it in my size, but she is going to talk to the designer and have one sent to us.

Sir did end up buying some other things as well. He bought me a pair of latex ‘bloomers’, perfect for holding in come and piss. He’s wanted me to get a pair for a while but i have been skeptical, thinking they would look silly and consequently i’d not feel sexy in them. Like all of the things i have been skeptical about, Sir bought them anyway and successfully changed my mind about the whole thing. Now i think they’re great and have worn them almost every day since we got back. They are fun and cute and i can wear them in bed.

imageSir also bought me a collar, a ‘ring of o’ to symbolise His ownership of me. It’s really nice to finally have something i can wear all of the time without worrying about what people will think. It’s something Sir and i have discussed before, but could never think of anything that would be appropriate or that i would be happy adding to my everyday jewellery. The ring is perfect. i am not allowed to take it off, ever, so i wear it in bed, in the shower, at work and everywhere. It is there as a constant reminder that i am His owned slave and that this must be my primary thought and consideration in everything i do and in every decision i make.

Berlin- Clubbing

A big reason for us visiting Berlin is the fetish scene. We have a friend in a D/s relationship working in a fetish sex shop which specialises in latex and she has very much been our ‘in’. She has recommended clubs, pubs, scenes, nights, shops and designers and we feel very much able to be ourselves around her, her Dom and their friends, but also everywhere she has recommended we visit.

This is not our first time fetish clubbing, so we didn’t have the same nerves and worries as last time. We were excited and couldn’t wait to get dolled up in our latex finery, go dancing and be seen. On the Friday we went to a gothic night at Insomnia. Sir wore black latex trousers with His black latex shirt. He was very striking, incredibly sexy and beautifully shiny. i wore a little navy blue short strappy dress with transparent black latex stockings and long black latex gloves. i looked slutty yet sophisticated and together, we were stunning.

The club is set out as a big dance floor with the bar down one side, then there is a curtain that you walk through which leads to the jacuzzi, showers and ‘play’ areas. Upstairs there is a couples area where you watch the dance floor (and a porn screening projected onto the wall) from the balcony, but there are also beds, play areas, medical chairs and a trunk full of toys (which Sir and i avoided trying due to possible poor hygiene). We watched groups and couples fucking and playing, Sir hitched up my dress to grope and lightly spank my bottom and then proceeded to put His fingers inside my cunt, giving me strict instructions not to come. The big problem with being a squirter is that orgasms make too much mess in a public place, but Sir let me suck His cock which was nice and comforting and made up for the fact that i couldn’t come.

The two of us attracted a lot of attention and we ended up in conversation with lots of beautiful people. One guy asked me to spank Him in my gloves. At first i politely declined. i’m a sub and it’s not a role i’m used to playing, but in the end, the sadistic, inquisitive (and slightly drunk) part of my brain took over and i lead him into one of the play areas and spanked him as hard as i could. It was really fun to let my sadism surface and he was a very good boy, not even flinching after i forbade it. i looked up from his pink bottom, that i was concentrating so hard on, to find that a crowd had gathered, and was happy to see that Sir was a part of it. i told him that we had an audience and i think he enjoyed having his humiliation on display. Sir told me afterwards that He was very proud of me and that it made Him want to find me a sub to play with. Sir is very sadistic so i think He would enjoy watching His latex princess abuse someone pretty.

On the Saturday we went to Kit Kat Club. We’ve been there twice before, so knew what to expect. It’s a big party club where anything goes. Some people dress in fetish clothing while others just walk around in underwear or nothing at all, but no matter what they’re wearing, it is guaranteed to be a great night. Two huge dance floors surrounded by ‘play’ areas, two quieter bar areas and a pool room. Techno and Euro trash blast through the speakers and after two or three Jaegermeisters, you feel confident enough to get out there and pull some shapes. Sir went all out for the occasion and wore his latex suit with a white latex shirt and a black latex tie. i wore my red halter neck latex dress with my black and red under bust corset and my metal collar to show the world that i belong to Sir. We met up with the D/s couple we know and a friend of theirs and had a really good time. We stayed for a while after they left and played with a cute guy in a fur coat, who had taken a shine to Sir’s latex jacket and my boobs, and then headed back to the hotel at 8am with sore feet. Fetish clubbing in Berlin is an experience not to be missed!

A thoroughly enjoyable evening

Yesterday, Sir and i went out with another D/s couple for the first time. It was great to be able to talk so openly about our relationship and kinks with such a lovely couple. We met the Dom through a friend of Sir’s, not knowing at all that he was a Dom! The sub has spent time as a professional kinkster. She is beautifully confident and open about everything making her instantly loveable and very approachable. Consequently, we spent much of our time asking questions and learnt lots about new and fun things to try.

After a thoroughly enjoyable evening, we got the taxi home and Sir had plenty of ideas of how we would fill the remainder of the evening… He whispered to me, with His hand around my throat, that He was going to piss in my mouth (making me instantly excited) and as soon as we arrived home i was instructed to put my things in the bedroom and put a butt plug inside my arsehole before he lead me to the bathroom.

He told me to take off my jeans, telling me off for taking too long, and then knelt me in the bath with the rest of my clothes on and used me as His toilet. i love the smell and the warmth of His piss as he soaks me and my cheeks burn red with humiliation as he makes me admit my enjoyment and pleasure and calls me a disgusting whore. When He finished, i was told to go back to the bedroom and i knelt on the bed waiting for Him. He forced me to choke on His cock, slapped me, gagged me and used me. i squirted repeatedly and He came inside me. i felt used and humiliated. The gag made me drool pathetically (i’ve learnt that it’s best to allow myself to drool rather than wipe my face and receive punishment) and cut into the corners of my mouth. Sir knows i hate it, making the whole thing even more humiliating.

Sir was still horny (as was i) so He allowed me the pleasure of playing with His arsehole while He wanked. i got very wet and had a desperate need to orgasm after being showered by Sir’s come so He granted me permission to masterbate while He spanked me with the metal part of the ring gag. It was very painful and very fun. i was so horny and so frustrated that i couldn’t make myself orgasm. Sir said ‘have You not come yet? Well, I think it’s about time that you did!’ and thrust His fingers hard inside my dripping wet cunt causing me to violently orgasm almost instantly. Afterwards i was instructed to blog about our evening. i hope you have enjoyed it.

Eighteen month honeymoon period

In two weeks, Sir and i will have been together for eighteen months. My mum always told me that eighteen months is the end of the honeymoon period, sex fizzles out and a lot of relationships end. Both me and Sir have had this problem in our previous relationships and i am so scared it is going to happen to us.

It’s silly for me to be worried really, because my relationship with Sir is unlike anything either of us have had before (and not just because of the D/s thing). We are so in love and fuck all the time, we are always horny and very kinky and i can’t imagine either of us losing interest in sex, but there is still that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is when my one perfect relationship is going to go wrong. As His sub, i would never refuse Him sex (unless it would be dangerous physically or mentally) but i don’t want to have to suck it up. i want things to stay as they are, where i really fancy Him and want Him.

Anyone out there who has been in a relationship for longer than eighteen months and who’s sex life is still awesome, give me some reassurance that we’re gunna be fine!